There are places and situations where one definitely expects to run into octopuses – in seas and oceans, on other planets, in brothels and harems (much like one can put a box in the middle of the room and a cat will suddenly appear to sit in it, even when one does not own a cat, a nearly-naked woman is almost guaranteed to summon an octopus). But sometimes the presence of tentacles is quite unexpected. Just when you think you’re safe – no, oops, a touch of the cephalopod springs abruptly into your life.
Tentacles at the cinema? No way. What would they be doing there?
« He turns into a monster at the touch of a pretty girl! » Say, that sounds familiar… This is Gross Pointno. 11 (May 1998), cover by Roger Langridge. This nearly-forgotten comic (so forgotten, in fact, that Google will try to correct you if you look its title up) is a delight for those of us who like to bask in a Halloween mood year-round. The plot is not exactly original, yet beautiful art by Roger Langridge makes it a very enjoyable read, especially given the latter’s propensity to add little jokes to the script. Unfortunately, too many issues are sloppily pencilled by Joe Staton, whose art cannot be entirely redeemed, even by Langridge inking it.
Because I’m nice and this January 1st, here’s a link to all the issues of Gross Point, to save you the trouble of hunting them down.
A page from “Welcome to Gross Point”, pencilled by S.M. Taggart and inked by Roger Langridge.
Or you purchase a box of doughnuts and then…
Wacky Packages no. 17 (All-new Series 7), 2010. Art by David Gross, I believe.
How would you feel about going back to the office after the holidays and finding a multi-tasking octopus taking over your duties?
Hogan’s Alleyno. 21, February 2017. The hard-working octopus (it must have been hard to find pants that fit him, but octopuses are dedicated workers!) is drawn by Jack Davis, of course.
I’d say the most unexpected tentacles of all would be found in a For Better or For Worse strip. There’s no way that would happen.
This is the final Tentacle Tuesday of the year (the next one falls on January 1st). As few tentacles venture out into the snow, I had to find something else to celebrate the occasion. I’ve been hoarding some images for sharing at some later date, and I feel the moment has come to return to a topic that’s dear to my heart – for each girl, there must be some tentacles…
Amethyst, Princess of Gemworldno. 4 (August, 1983). This is a page from the story Dark Journeys!, drawn by Ernie Colón. I can’t vouch for the quality of the writing of this series, but the covers are a lot of fun for those of us who like Colón (I’ll hold my hand up there).Cinema Sewer no. 17 (2005), cover by Mike Hoffman. CS, in case you didn’t know, is a movie magazine (a mix of articles, illustrations and comics), the brainchild of Canadian Robin Bougie. Let’s give a polite round of applause to the strategically placed tentacles!
As long as we’re in the gutter, err, sewer… Sewer slime!
A page from “Marada the She-Wolf” , written by Chris Claremont and illustrated John Bolton, from Epic Illustratedno. 23 (April, 1984). I was convinced the octopus was attacking a pregnant girl until I looked closer. Damn deceptive black-and-white!
Next, a window with the world of superheroines… in which zippers magically stop just before full frontal nudity, every woman boasts a F cup size, hair writhes passionately all by itself, and pain looks like lust. “Nothing… beats these tentacles.” Thank you, Beatriz da Costa, for those immortal words.
Justice League Americano. 100 (June, 1995, DC). Opening Up the Game is scripted by Gerard Jones, pencilled by Chuck Wojtkiewicz, inked by Bob Dvorak and Doug Selogy. Wait, how many people had to get involved in this?!
The next one is an obvious – even boring – scene: girl tied up, blah blah, tentacles reaching for her *yawn* nether regions… Bonus points if she’s wearing some terrifically overwrought hair decoration/jewelry/shoes (and nothing else).
Original art for Warlord of Mars: Dejah Thorisno. 10, variant cover A by Joe Jusko (Feb. 2012, Dynamite).
Here’s to a new year of grabbery and slimy appendages, then!
« Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas makes me happy I love Christmas cold and grey, I love it sweet and sappy Says crazy kissin’ Cousin Flo: ‘Let’s break out the mistletoe’ »
The heart-warming cover of that Four Color no. 201, 1948. Art by Walt Kelly. Check out the adorable moon-jumpin’ cow in the top left corner!This is the back cover of Dell’s Four Color no. 302 (Santa Claus Funnies), 1950. Such warm colours. Art by Canadian Mel Crawford, who worked on various Dell publications in the 1950s (such as Howdy Doody, Mr. Magoo, and Four Color Comics) to later become an accomplished watercolours/acrylics painter.
« Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas out the waz Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas up the schnozz Come all ye faithful, don’t be slow It’s Christmas time, you can’t say no»
Creepy no. 68 (January 1975), cover by Ken Kelly. “House’ and “about” don’t rhyme, but it’s the season to forgive. I like how Santa appears to be bawling in frustration.Vault of Horror no. 35 (EC, 1954), cover by Johnny Craig. Maybe open the lid of the coffin first, dumbass?
« Momma wants a kitchen sink And daddy wants a stiffer drink Grandma wants us to cut the crap Grandpa wants a nice long nap »
Illustration by Richard Thompson. Who else wants some Festive Dietetic Crackers? I’d definitely sit with the mouse.
« Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas everywhere Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas pullin’ out my hair Shoppers lined up out the door Traffic backed up miles and more It’s Christmas time, so what the heck Let’s go spend the whole paycheck »
A Little Lulu cartoon by Marge Buell (Saturday Evening Post, 1944).From the pleasantly warped mind of Hilary Barta with a fond tip of the Santa hat to old Uncle Salvador, obviamente. Да да да!
« Deck the halls, it is the season We don’t need no rhyme or reason It’s Christmas time, go spread the cheer Pretty soon gonna be next year»
Sensation Comics no. 38 (1945), cover by H.G. Peter.Original art for a Christmas card of Little Orphan Annie by Harold Gray. Just some 70 years ago, right?
With every passing year, I have more and more trouble getting into the spirit of Christmas (especially since all the snow has now melted). An early present of Rodney Crowell’s Christmas Everywhere helped a bit, but to speed things along some more – and before Christmas Eve takes me by surprise – I’d like to titillate everybody’s taste buds with this spread of Playboy Christmas cartoons.
Cartoon by Buck Brown (real name Robert Brown), an African-American cartoonist and painter, creator of the naughty (and adorable!) Granny.Cartoon by Austrian Erich Sokol. A little linguistic tidbit: “sokol” means “hawk” in Russian.
And on the topic of bedding Santa Claus…
Cartoon by Canadian Doug Sneyd.Eldon Dedini! (We ran an earlier exposé about him here.) Who needs naked women when you have the (slightly grabby) three magi?Cartoon by the ineluctable Jack Cole! Don’t forget to take a peek at my mate’s post, The Unforgettable Jack Cole.Cartoon by Phil Interlandi.
Occasionally, I notice a comic book cover with a tentacled monster so peculiar that one starts wondering whether the artist was on drugs or just couldn’t give a shit. That is not a criticism, however: where grabby appendages are concerned, the weirder, the better. Even if some of these guys have a face (muzzle? rictus?) even a mother couldn’t love, or their anatomy defies all laws of biology, we’ll welcome them with open arms!
As usual, in chronological order.
First in our line-up is this little fella in a hat. At least he looks like he’s wearing a cap, although perhaps he just has a square head with a skin flap hanging over the sides. At first glance, his tentacles are hollow, although their flesh is probably just a dull shade of battleship grey. So what’s this “thing that waited”? Soviet soldiers who are actually alien invaders. Duh.
Adventures Into Weird Worlds no. 3 (March 1952), cover by Joe Maneely.
This next cover is probably a little more standard for pseudo-octopus fare: a lady with huge, ahem, bazooms (Russ Heath liked ’em busty, it seems – seriously, just look at the size of those things!) threatened by some horrific monster who’s dispatching her companion as expediently as possible. Still, the somewhat Wolverton-esque, grave-dwelling aliens with pincers at the end of their tentacles are odd-looking enough to squeeze their way into this post.
Spellbound no. 20 (March 1954), cover by Russ Heath.
This toupee-clad creature with evil gimlet eyes doesn’t look much like a pet, if you ask me. How are those grabby little arms attached to its head, anyway? Wait, who am I talking about, again? 😉
“My Greatest Adventure” was a title that promised much, and it must have been difficult to live up to it every month. Witness the following “fantastic” creature – a furry slug with disturbingly fleshy lips and tentacles. I can’t vouch for my reaction had I been an excitable ten-year old, but to this blasé adult, the poor beast summoned by some psycho witch doctor (the jungles seem to be always overrun with them) is just begging to be put out of its misery.
Our next exhibit finally features a proper alien, one who looks strange but at least makes sense as a unified, functioning creature. I love his sadly drooped whiskers, his dejected expression that’s strangely at odds with his pontifical speech.
Tales of the Unexpected no. 66 (October 1961), cover by Bob Brown.
« Make him a werewolf! But in space! And give him tentacles! » Yeah, guys, that went over really well. A Marvel Masterwork, my ass. But wait: Black Destroyer! is an adaptation of A. E. van Vogt’s short story from 1939. And did Cœurl, the black cat-like creature, have tentacles in the story? Why, yes, he did.
« His great forelegs—twice as long as his hindlegs—twitched with a shuddering movement that arched every razor-sharp claw. The thick tentacles that sprouted from his shoulders ceased their weaving undulation, and grew taut with anxious alertness. Utterly appalled, he twisted his great cat head from side to side, while the little hairlike tendrils that formed each ear vibrated frantically, testing every vagrant breeze, every throb in the ether. » (read the full story here.)
Worlds Unknown no. 5 (February 1974), cover pencilled by Gil Kane and inked by Frank Giacoia. Cœurl looks like he’s floating on top of the corpse – I don’t think the artists spent too much time watching an actual cat at work.
My last offering for today is the cutest, featuring an adorable blue varmint who gets my full sympathy and support. Weird? Sure, a bit – he’s got a tentacle sprouting out of his forehead – but beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? This cover also proves that monsters are just as interested in tooth-whitening procedures as us humans.
At its best, Maurice Whitman’s art has the power to capture one’s imagination. He has an excellent eye for dynamic layouts, and his ghoulies and creepies are often drawn in a kind of a squiggly, sketchy way that really brings them alive for me. Not to be forgotten are his shapely women, usually in various states of déshabillé. Sometimes his covers are too chaotic, and don’t really hold together, leading the viewer to scratch his (or her!) head in confusion; but when it works, when all the pieces fall into place, his art can be glorious.
Ghost Comics had but 11 issues published between 1951 – 1954, so I could have included all of them in this post… but you can see a gallery of these covers on other websites, and besides, some of them are firmly in the “doesn’t quite work” category. Here are my favourites, then – five out of eleven, not bad!
Ghost Comics no. 1, 1951. I like the details, such as the lost shoe, the cute little ghost in the bottom right corner, a mysterious dark figure by a lamppost (as if the green demon wasn’t terrifying enough)… and the warping of the scene really works, imho.
The following cover is kind of the raison d’être of this whole post – I adore it. Whitman put so many reach-out-and-touch-it details into it – talk about the juxtaposition between terror and sex-appeal! The woman’s négligé is probably the sheerest it has been my pleasure to encounter in pre-code comics. Her hair is also beautifully drawn, especially that little curl that seems to be reaching for the candle.
Clearly, I’m not the only one to pay special attention to this cover – it was chosen as the cover of Ghosts and Girls of Fiction House!, another addition to Craig Yoe’s Chilling Archives of Horror Comics.
Ghost Comics no. 3, 1952. This one has crisper, cleaner lines, but the potent composition calls out to the viewer (and after a few minutes spent in contemplation of the art, you can start wondering what the hell is going on here, and how on earth does it make any sense?)Ghost Comics no. 4, Fall 1952. Whitman was clearly fond of a certain type of blonde… not that anyone’s objecting. The two teeny bats on the right have captured my heart.Ghost Comics no. 8, 1953. Come on, witch, you could have made a better effort with the doll’s hair! Are these the furies from no. 4?
All issues, should you want to read them, can be found at comicbookplus.
« When the blast of a rocket launch slams you against the wall and all the rust is shaken off your body, you will hear the great shout of the universe and the joyful crying of people who have been changed by what they’ve seen… »*
Greetings, dear astronauts! Today’s Tentacle Tuesday concerns itself with that “religious experience”, space travel… with tentacles in tow, of course. Some comics may announce their interplanetary theme by putting SPACE into the title of the series (and making sure it’s big and bold!), while others deploy a little subtlety and coyly refer to the unknown, or the unexpected. Either way, we’re in for a grand old time exploring space along with the brave men and women (err, mostly men) who found themselves exclaiming “ooh, tentacles!” while exploring some mysterious planet.
In chronological order, then…
Space Squadron no. 5 (February 1952, Atlas). The cover is *probably* by Joe Maneely.Worlds Unknown no. 4 (November 1973, Marvel), (bad) cover by Dick Giordano. Some people have the knack for coming up with original and scary monsters, and some don’t. ’nuff said.Star Hunters no. 1 (October-November 1977, DC), pencils by Rich Buckler and inks by Bob Layton. The green thingies may be snakes/dragons, not tentacles, but they’re doing a convincing impersonation.The Unexpected no. 221 (April 1982, DC), cover by Joe Kubert. Now *there’s* a convincingly moody and frightening cover – no big pyrotechnics, just a strong hint of suffocation by a strangely-shaped cloud of ectoplasm. Shudder.Pulp Fiction Library: Mystery in Space (September 1999, DC). Cover by Mitch O’Connell. This 228-page anthology features a bunch of reprinted stories (from the early 50s to the the early 80s) originally published in Real Fact Comics, Mystery in Space, Strange Adventures and Action Comics.The Goon no. 11 (March 2005, Dark Horse), cover by Eric Powell.Yeah Franky, what the hell are you doing?
Incidentally, today I was given a nice gift at work: Buddha’s Hand, or the fingered citron, a type of citrus someone described as a “Monsanto-produced cross between calamari and a lemon”. How very appropriate for Tentacle Tuesday! Here’s a picture of my very own tentacled beauty:
« I have never listened to anyone who criticized my taste in space travel, sideshows or gorillas. When this occurs, I pack up my dinosaurs and leave the room.»*
In 1946, Georges Pichard (not sure who he is? Visit our Pichard’s Distressing Damsels for an overview of his later work), heretofore toiling in a marketing agency, started his career as an illustrator. He worked for various French magazines and newspapers (like Le Rire, Fou-Rire and Les Veillées des Chaumières), providing them with covers, cartoons and pin-ups in black-and-white or gorgeous watercolour until the mid 70s, when he switched gears somewhat and dedicated himself to erotic bandes dessinées.
I left image imperfections (due mostly to yellowing of paper over time) and hand-written captions (when available) as is, as I find they provide pleasant texture and context. The jokes are really lame, but we translated them, anyway.
The following three cartoons were published in Le Rire. This first one saw print on the cover of Le Rireno. 22 (nouvelle série, July 1953).
This one was featured on the cover of Le Rireno. 66 (nouvelle série, March 1957).
« I’m the sort of guy who’s kind of like an iceberg, the main part is beneath the surface. » The man in question looks very much like a V.I.P. type.
The following are all from Fou-rire:
Cover of Fou-rire n°12, mid-50s. « It’s not because I’m playing the bagpipes that you have to take me for a gallant shepherd! »Cartoon from Fou-Rire n° 76, early 60s. « Please be assured, my dear friend, that we are all here quite touched by your wife’s endeavours to set a mood… ».Cartoon from Fou-Rire n° 118, early 60s. « It would be prudent to seal up your chimney, because when I tell the boss about this… »Fou-Rire n° 118, mid 60s. « And to think that I’ve mislaid the key to this chest full of outfits, each more decent than the last… »
Finally, a couple of pretty loose ends:
Original art from Le Rire magazine, 1960s. « But the funniest part happened before I ran into the police officer! »Early 60s.
For today’s Tentacle Tuesday post, I’d like to highlight some comic book artwork from the Golden Age, which is to say the period between the early (or late, depending on who you ask) 1930s and 1956, the year Showcase #4 was published, heralding the new era of superhero comics. (Our other TT post dedicated to the Golden Age was about Planet Comics; visit it here).
Blue Bolt vol. 1 no. 5 (October 1940), cover by W. E. Rowland. The series was created by Joe Simon, who promptly enlisted Jack Kirby’s help. This cover story, «War in the Fourth Dimension», is by the Simon-Kirby team. Read the issue here.
The Blue Bolt gets tangled up in quite a few (crushing, of course) tentacles. Art by Jack Kirby.
And a few pages later….
It might be surprising to see the Shadow in the grip of an octopus, but there’s probably not that many creatures he *hasn’t* grappled with!
When a radio show was introduced in 1930 to boost the sales of Detective Story Magazine, the company (Street & Smith Publications) wasn’t expecting its freshly-minted narrator, The Shadow, to hog the limelight – but that he did, as listeners found this sinister character far more compelling than the stories he was narrating.
Shadow Comics vol. 3 no. 6 (September 1943), cover by Vernon Greene. Just imagine the possible drama of this cover – the swordfish is actually the octopus’ friend, but he’s forced to become an instrument of his death by the merciless Shadow (only he would descend to the depths of the ocean to fight “devils” in full suit-and-cape regalia).
As his fans kept requesting copies of The Shadow magazine (which didn’t even exist at the time), Street & Smith obliged and The Shadow Magazine was born in 1931. The Shadow’s step-father is Walter B. Gibson, writing under the pen-name of Maxwell Grant. He wrote « more than 300 novel-length » Shadow stories to meet the demand of a public greedily clamouring for its hero, although at some point several writers were hired to lighten Gibson’s ridiculous workload. The Shadow soon slunk beyond the confines of pulp novels and into comics: a syndicated daily newspaper comic strip (written by Gibson and illustrated by Vernon Greene), preceded (by a month) by a comic book published by Street & Smith, which was supposed to attract a younger audience to pulp magazines (101 issues, from 1940 to 1949).
Shadow Comics vol. 5 no. 5 (August 1945), cover by Charles Coll. Everybody is making puppy eyes at the Shadow, but will he choose the pretty girl or the pretty octopus?
Speaking of heroes, Wiki calls The Shadow « a film noir antihero in every sense »; now, I’ll concede the film noir, but I’ll balk at calling him an anti-hero, at least in this incarnation, as *that* term is defined as « a character who lacks conventional heroic qualities such as idealism, courage, and morality », all of which The Shadow has abundant reserves of. He’s a bit laconic and brusque with this conspirators, but that’s understandable when he had to destroy peace-threatening crime rings and bring brilliant crime-perpetrators to ruin at least twice a month.
Who’s that handsome guy shooting commercials for Crackety-Wackett Cereal? Why, it’s Lars of Mars, the debonair Martian! In between fighting his communist arch-enemy (it was the 50s, what can I say?) and robots harassing women, Lars likes to relax by grappling with tentacled creatures.
This lovely cover is Lars of Mars no. 11 (July-August 1951), painted by Allen Anderson (or Norman Saunders, according to another source, though Anderson seems likelier). What’s inside? Jerry Siegel scripts and Murphy Anderson art (and one story by Gene Colan). Yummy!
Lars of Mars was created by Siegel in 1951 for Ziff-Davis. There are only two issues (bizarrely numbered 10 and 11). The art for Lars of Mars, done by Murphy Anderson, is very nice indeed, but you don’t have to take my word for it. Feast your orbs on the first two delightfully nonsensical LoM stories on Pappy’s Golden Age blog.
Now, is that any way to address a many-tentacled creature?
« Scarlet’s adventures are never run-of-the-mill. Instead she enters into every phase of American life – whether on the baseball field or in a night club – always finding a way to help her clients, aid the forces of law and order… and bring plenty of thrills and laughs to her readers. » Apparently « every phase of American life » includes being on the ocean’s floor, trying to stab an octopus with only 5 arms. Hmm…
Harvey Comics Hits no. 59, 1952. Art (probably) by Al Avison. Interestingly, the fish is nibbling on the hand of the monster, when it could be partaking of the delicious flesh of the blub-guy. Tales of the Invisible reprints a bunch of Scarlet O’Neil stories from Black Cat, topped off with an introduction titled « Meet Russell Stamm » (the creator).
Incidentally, Invisible Scarlet O’Neil is supposed to be the first heroine with superpowers (well, one superpower: invisibility).
If I may be excused for going off-tentacle-topic, « Blood of a Monster », the title story that takes up half of this issue, is surprisingly good (though it doesn’t really contain tentacles aside from a minor mention of cephalapoda at the beginning). The art (by the aforementioned Russell Stamm) is moody and quite unhinged in places.
I enjoyed « Grave of Greed », the second half of the issue, even more, because it involves mushroom picking as part of the plot!
Read the full issue here – it’s worth the detour, I think!
Stay tuned for our next Tentacle Tuesday post! In the meantime, visit our previous TTs (we’re getting to have quite a backlog) for your tentacle fix.
I have this tendency to overlook comics published more recently than 20 years ago. It’s not a conscious bias on my part (aw, who are we kidding?), and yet… Why would I waste precious time trying to find something “modern” (which is a flexible concept, anyway) that’s half-decent instead of enjoying the bounty of excellent comics produced in the 60 (if not 70) years preceding the 2000s?
Having said that, tentacles are more popular than ever in the comics field – a panacea for a number of storytelling foibles, a piquant ingredient to offset blandness, a freaking deus ex machina. Unfortunately, almost all of the post-2000 comics graced by the appearance of tentacles are of the butt-ugly persuasion – for a number of reasons, although I could probably narrow them down to three or so (piss-poor anatomy, a cold metallic gleam over everything, terrible colours). Modern comics also have the lovely feature of having like a bazillion variant covers for each issue.
I could go on with covers like this one all day:
Grimm Tales of Terror no. 6 (January 2015), pencilled by Giuseppe Cafaro and inked by Simone Di Meo.
That’s not ugly enough for you? The pretty girl is knocking out all capacity for rational thought? Are you forgiving the artist for thinking fabric needs about a thousand crinkles and folds to look, ahem, realistic? Okay, how about something like this?
A panel from “When Superman Learned to Fly”, published in Action Comicsno. 6 (April, 2012). Pencilled by Andy Kubert and inked by John Dell.
Everybody knows that if you’re going to combat tentacles, you should make sure your stance is wide enough to be completely impractical and then fight them off with your crotch. While you’re doing that, your cape will develop a mind of its own and will start lifting off your shoulders. That is normal and aids in battle. Throw some terribly witty dialogue in, triple check that the men have their hands curled up in manly fisticuffs even if they’re not really connected to their wrists, and you’re all set for an Action Scene!
Okay, okay, I’ll wrap up my rant now. Let’s look at some… decent comics.
“Doctor Lovecraft” made me do a serious eye-roll, but at least the story is interesting. Read the issue here. Note the teal-and-orange in this one:
A page from « Betty R.I.P. Chapter One – Witch in the Dream House », published in Afterlife with Archieno. 6 (October 2014). Scripted by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa, art by Francesco Francavilla.
I’m going to throw a spoiler your way with the following splash. It’s from the same issue as the previous page, so guess who gets to be bride of Cthulhu. (A more-than-slightly absurd thought. What would a Great Old One want with a human female, even if she’s a witch?) For more spoilers, head over to the Afterlife with Archie: the 13 Scariest Moments. I am aaalmost considering picking up the series. Maybe. As soon as I’m done with the piles of comics covering pretty much every surface of my office.
Moving on: I never thought I’d be posting *anything* from My Little Pony franchise, but the “pastels” of this scene are rather well done. Also, these freaking ponies are annoying, so seeing them strangled is somewhat satisfying.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic no. 27 (January 2015). Cover by Andy Price.
It’s even more preposterous that I should be sharing a Star Wars page, for fuck’s sake, but I like the art (pray note: more blue and orange!).
«The Phantom Limb» is scripted by James Robinson and drawn by Tony Harris, and was published in Star Wars Special: C-3PO no. 1 (June 2016). Figure out why a tentacled monster is interested in a robot here.
Who's Out There? 