A Smutty Little Holiday

Holiday,
Oh what a lovely day today,
I’m so glad they sent me away,
To have a little holiday
.*

Today we embark on a V̶i̶c̶t̶o̶r̶i̶a̶n̶ r̶o̶m̶a̶n̶c̶e̶** romance set in 1889, seasoned with more than a dash of steampunk, all in the name of sweet (and currently very much needed) escapism. Expect NSFW, in case it matters.

Chester 5000 (Top Shelf, 2011) is a typical love story: boy meets girl, boy loses interest in girl sexually and so builds her a sex robot, girl falls in love with robot, boy gets jealous. The mechanical turn of the plot does in no way impede the emotional progression and, as a matter of fact, one finds oneself distinctly rooting for the very sweet Chester. Really, the fact that he’s a robot only comes into play to show off his many pleasure-centred tool attachments, not to mention his ability to hold a lover in mid-air for extended periods of time.

This comic is entirely mute, told in little vignettes which make it quite clear how the characters are feeling. American cartoonist Jess Fink has been singled out for her titillating talent of depicting luscious breasts, and I quite agree (and extend that compliment to the rest of female anatomy). Here are a few of the tamer scenes —

« Jess Fink’s “erotic, robotic Victorian romance” Chester 5000 XYV, an ongoing Web comic that’s recently been collected into a graphic novel by Top Shelf, is utterly of the zeitgeist. It has enough gadgets to entice the steampunk crowd, enough heat (tempered by romance) to seduce the yaoi*** crowd, enough sex-positivity for the feminist crowd, and enough craft for any “but girls can’t draw” naysayers. » (source: TCJ)

One might say this graphic novel is part of a wave of woman-penned, sex-positive, body-diverse comics — and indeed, Fink has several contributions to the anthology Smut Peddler. As for the anthology, I respect it as an admirable initiative, but is not something I collect because sadly most art within rubs me (ha, ha) the wrong way. I had purchased the 2014 edition because of Fink’s How You Gonna Keep ‘Em Down on the Farm story, but I gave it away to a rather stunned older man who came to pick up a box of random books I no longer wanted. Well, he said he wanted to read something new for a change (while his eyes goggled) — I hope he enjoyed it.

~ ds

*Holiday

** Co-admin RG would like to point out that this isn’t really Victorian other than in costume, and so objects to that categorisation. I’ll leave the reader to decide whether works of fiction set in a specific period (well before the author’s lifetime) deserve that era’s label or not. The Professor’s Daughter (discussed in Félicitations, Emmanuel Guibert!) was described in a review as ‘a love letter to Victorian London’ despite having been brought to life by two men from the late 20th century, but it was better researched than Chester 5000 — though the latter still has historical details, especially in the second volume, and Fink clearly knows a lot about Victorian costumes, as evidenced by this fun interview. If you want smut from the actual Victorian era, I’d like to point you in the direction of Victerotica – A Carnal Collection, volumes 1 and 2. RG also points out a certain plot similarity to La poupée sanglante, a 1923 novel by Gaston Leroux (author of Le fantôme de l’opéra).

***Speaking of yaoi, volume 2 of the series, Chester 5000 book 2: Isabelle & George (also published by Top Shelf), has some nice mann-gegen-mann action.

Hot Streak: Creig Flessel’s Detective Comics

« The criminal is a creative artist; detectives are just critics. » — Hannu Rajaniemi

This time, we’re going way back to the dawn of DC Comics, when the company name stood for its flagship title… Detective Comics.

This is when the company’s visionary but hapless founder, Major Malcolm Wheeler-Nicholson, was still around, before Harry Donenfeld and his crony Yakov (Jack) Liebowitz had the locks changed.

While that chain of events is a fascinating bit of history, what I’m here to celebrate is a sequence of classic covers by recent — 2024 recent — Will Eisner Comic Awards Hall of Fame inductee Creig Valentine Flessel (1912-2008). Flessel produced eighteen of the first nineteen Detective Comics covers (the premiere issue bore a striking, but rather primitive drawing by associate editor Vin Sullivan), visibly gaining assurance and verve as he sped along. By my reckoning, however, it’s only with the eleventh issue that he solidly hit his stride, which he never let up until the assignment passed into other hands… and then came Batman.

Anyway, here they are: no hand-holding, no patronising, superfluous captions… just graphic purity — and sweat-soaked, pulpy thrills galore.

This is Detective Comics no. 11 (Jan. 1938, DC).
This is Detective Comics no. 12 (Feb. 1938, DC).
This is Detective Comics no. 13 (Mar. 1938, DC).
This is Detective Comics no. 14 (Apr. 1938, DC).
This is Detective Comics no. 15 (May 1938, DC).
This is Detective Comics no. 16 (June 1938, DC).
This is Detective Comics no. 17 (July 1938, DC).
This is Detective Comics no. 18 (Aug. 1938, DC). Even as a relatively sheltered white teenager, I could easily tell that Sax Rohmer‘s Fu Manchu stories were racist (and sexist as well) « Yellow Peril » tripe… even in the context of their era, they went the extra mile.
This is Detective Comics no. 19 (Sept. 1938, DC), Flessel’s final cover for the title.

Flessel would turn up all over the place. Gary Groth writes, introducing his definitive, career-spanning Flessel interview:

« Flessel never became an auteur with a truly recognizable narrative voice or characters that he could call entirely his own. He was so skilled and versatile that he became an artistic chameleon, a commercial propensity that served him well throughout his career. He wrote and drew stories for the earliest published comic books: More Fun, Detective Comics and Adventure; worked for the advertising firm of Johnstone and Cushing; assisted Al Capp on Li’l Abner and worked with Charlie Biro on Crime Does Not Pay in the ’50s; spent the ’60s and early ’70s drawing David Crane, a comic strip about a minister in a small town and segued seamlessly into an eight-year gig doing The Tales of Baron Von Furstinbed for Playboy. »

Detail (the whole spread would have been impossible to scan properly) from one of Flessel’s long-running series of Eveready Batteries adverts, done in the employ of the celebrated Johnstone and Cushing ad agency (this one’s from 1951). On his The Fabulous Fifties blog, Ger Apeldoorn showcases a number of these lovelies — check ’em out!
Flessel turned up as Jerry Grandenetti‘s inker on my favourite issue of Joe Simon and Grandenetti’s much-maligned, short-lived but quite charming Prez (no. 4, Feb.-Mar. 1974, DC). Notwithstanding the — intentionally — fanciful elements of the Wild in the Streets-inspired social satire, old hand Simon had a much firmer grasp on how politics actually work than did any of the earnest, self-consciously ‘relevant’ comics writers of the day. And one can only sigh nostalgically at days when the worst thing that might slither into the White House was a mere vampire…

Flessel’s ability to depict ladies of the buxom and comely variety had certainly played a role in his landing a gig assisting Al Capp on Lil’ Abner for a couple of years in the late 1950s. At the time, Capp spent much of his time touring college campuses and berating the younger set, as was his wont.

Said virtuosity in the light-hearted and erotic stood him in good stead for an eight-year gig on The Tales of Baron Von Furstinbed for The Playboy Funnies; this one’s from the January, 1983 issue of Playboy Magazine. And here’s another, for good measure.

In closing, a brief exchange from The Comics Journal interview — please do go and read the whole thing, it’s a gem!

GROTH: I have a note that you had something to do with Superboy from 1958 to ’59.

FLESSEL: I did one. You know, it’s frightening; it’s like going out and drinking a lot of martinis and doing a job and not remembering.

-RG

Riddles & Bears: Meet Victor Chizhikov

I grew up on the illustrations of Soviet illustrator/cartoonist Victor Chizhikov (1935-2020). I’m not sure whether I’m from the last generation that remembers his work this well — on a similar topic of ‘boy, we’re old’, older non-Slavic readers might be familiar with Misha, the mascot that Chizhikov designed for the 1980 Moscow Olympic Games.

Chizhikov with his creation Misha (both a nickname for Mikhail, and a contraction of ‘bear’).

In 1955, Chizhikov started contributing illustrations and caricatures to Krokodil, a publication I was born too late to be personally familiar with (though I did write a post about it). While he has definitely drawn a number of ‘adult’ cartoons in his life, it’s his cheerful anthropomorphic animals, mushroom-studded landscapes and gently roguish children that linger in people’s minds, and those appeared from 1956 and onwards, frolicking through the pages of Весёлые картинки (Merry pictures), a publication aimed at children between 4 and 11. In 1958, Chizhikov also joined the staff of Мурзилка* (Murzilka), a magazine for the 7 to 13 year old crowd. I had subscriptions to both as a child. My grandfather was especially keen on giving me a well-rounded education, though he needn’t have worried, as I come from a family where nearly everybody was a voracious reader, albeit occasionally disagreeing on genre. I used to have a stack of Весёлые картинки somewhere, but I got rid of it at some point with the impetuousness of a young adult, alas.

An issue of «Мурзилка» from 1968.
A page from a 1965 issue of «Мурзилка» depicting scenes made up of palindromes.
Original art for an illustration created for a 1975 issue of «Мурзилка».
Page from a 1966 issue of «Весёлые картинки» — ‘Petrushka in the land of fairytales‘ was a recurring feature. Chizhikov had a most fluid line when needed.
The October page from a 1972 calendar published in «Весёлые картинки».
An issue of «Весёлые картинки» from 1982.

Interestingly, Chizhikov was daltonic, something one would never be able to guess from his illustrations. It is said that his wife would label pots of paint and pencils to help him out, but I don’t know what variant of colour blindness he was stricken with. A critic once described his characters as having a ‘mischievous squint, as if they live in an eternal summer in the bright sun‘ — maybe they were just squinting trying to discern the nuances between colours?

‘The Lamplighter Ant’
Issue of «Пионер» from 1958 — this was a magazine for 10 to 14 year-olds, but I don’t remember ever encountering any issues in the wild (possibly because my family objected to buying something called ‘Pioneer‘).

I owe this trip down memory lane to a friend who gave me a 1971 edition of 25 загадок — 25 отгадок (25 riddles — 25 answers) written by the immensely energetic and thus ubiquitous Korney Chukovsky** and illustrated by Chizhikov. Many thanks, Drew!

« Two stallions I have, they carry me on water. The water is tough, as if it were a stone. »
« If pine trees knew how to run and jump, they would flee from me to never cross my path again, because I am very steely, mean and toothy. »
« Small houses are running down the street, carrying little girls and boys. »
« Kondrat was walking to Leningrad, and coming towards him were twelve kids, each with three baskets, with a cat in each basket, and each cat having 12 kittens, each kitten holding four little mice. How many kittens and mice are the kids carrying to Leningrad? »
Cover of another book by Chukovsky, the ever-popular Doctor Aybolit, whose name translates literally to something like ‘Doctor Ouchithurts’. This character was loosely based on Hugh Lofting’s Doctor Dolittle, as well as Chukovsky’s friend Zemach Shabad, known for treating not only sick children, but also the equally ailing animals the children would bring along to their appointments.

~ ds

* Мурзилка is still around today, and given that it began publication in 1924, it is now listed in Guinness Worlds Records as the longest running children’s magazine in the world.

** 1882-1969, author of innumerable absurd ditties, rhymes and poems so well remembered and loved that many got incorporated into Russian as idioms; brilliant translator of English novels, stories and poems, making them accessible to a Russian-speaking audience for the first time; dissenter of governments, be it Soviet or Russian.

New Words for a New Year!

« I find vocabulary to be a great drawback. » — Elizabeth Taylor

I think most of us will concur — sorry, Liz — that a rich vocabulary is a useful asset on multiple levels. And in riding with that particular train of thought, if a new year brings new goals and resolutions to achieve them, what could be more judicious and feasible than picking up a handful of new words… and their proper meaning?

Cartoonist Mickey Bach (1909-1994) made it his mission to help the newspaper-reading masses bone up on unusual vocables. While he’s never ranked among the cartooning greats, the premise of his feature, Word-a-Day, was a rock-solid one, granting the panel a healthy run from 1946 to 1979, first with the Publishers Syndicate until 1967, when it merged with the Hall Syndicate*.

It’s also worth noting that, for a feature that’s been officially defunct for some forty-five years, it’s a pretty lively one: an admirably devoted and industrious fan has kept the Word-a-Day flame alive with the Word A Day Revisited Index. Kudos!

As far as I can tell, there was only one Word-a-Day collection published, but it was a successful one. First published by Scholastic Book Services in 1965 and comprising selections from 1960 to 1963, it received at least four printings through 1972, this being the fourth, from April of that year.

Let’s see what lies within, shall we?

Part of the nostalgic fun in these images is their reliable repertory company of cartooning archetypes such as sandwich men, hobos, boxers, cranky bosses, talent agents, bearskin rugs, door-to-door salesmen, masked burglars, beret-sporting artistes…
Ah, yes: that nagging feeling that we, as a society, are somehow regressing rather than progressing.
Bach had a somewhat generic, but pleasant and competent cartoon style, wherein I detect the great Bill Holman as a principal influence. Bach clearly was a man of discernment.

Don’t be that boorish chump: here’s a handy guide to tipping étiquette from no less an authority than Emily Post (not to be confused with Emily Ghost).
This one’s a particular favourite of mine, having had to correct its misuse time and again; apparently, some people have surmised (without checking, naturally) that ‘fulsome’ means, ‘full’, only more so and in a fancier way. No, guys, ‘a fulsome investigation will be conducted‘ does not signify what you think it does.
Derived from the French ‘Gasconnade’, which refers pejoratively to the speech of denizens of the Gascony region. « Speaking with the Gascon accent, which is to say accentuating silent ‘e’s, and letting ring out several final consonants that the French leave silent. »
I find this one particularly clever.
This one’s considered archaic nowadays — when it is considered at all — though its close relative, insipid, endures. Not to be confused with its homophone, incipience, which refers to the beginning of something.

Sadly, Gorilla will likely pound the erudition out of that unfortunate pugilist.
Here’s a sentiment most reasonable the world over are currently experiencing, to their chagrin.

« There could be no jealousy/over my poetry/it’s my weakest quality/no vocabulary » — Todd Rundgren, Chapter and Verse

From both of us at WOT?, thanks for your continued support and interest, and may the coming year bring you as little as possible of what you’re dreading.

-RG

* It’s actually considerably more complex: « In 1963 Chicago-based Field Enterprises and New York Herald Tribune publisher John Hay Whitney acquired Publishers Syndicate, merging syndication operations with Field’s Chicago Sun-Times Syndicate, the New York Herald Tribune Syndicate, and the syndicate of the Chicago Daily News (a newspaper that had been acquired by Field Enterprises in 1959). When the New York Herald Tribune folded in 1966, Publishers inherited their strips, including Johnny Hart‘s B.C.Mell Lazarus‘ Miss Peach, and Harry Haenigsen‘s Penny.

In 1967, Field Enterprises acquired Robert M. Hall‘s New York-based Hall Syndicate, merging it with Publishers to form the Publishers-Hall Syndicate. » Phew.

A Very Langridge Christmas

Speaking of festive mayhem, there is none better than penned (imagined, executed!) by Roger Langridge. Over the scope of his long (and ongoing!) career, the whole ‘rocking around the Christmas tree’ thing has shown up at least a couple of times — you may not have snow where you live, but take a gander at these and watch your holiday spirits soar (especially if bolstered by a bit o’ tipple).

Here’s are some merry excerpts taken from The Four Seasons: Winter storyline printed in Muppets: The Four Seasons (2012, Marvel) for your enjoyment:

From the same issue, in this two-page digression (though what is The Muppets if not a series of glorious digressions), Sam narrates Dickens’ magnum opus… oh, nevermind.

Speaking of Dickens, though, he did not go un-Langridged, happily:

A Christmas Carol (2013, St Mark’s Press)

To further your cheer, a few more pages from Langridge’s Abigail & The Snowman (2016, KaBOOM!). This decade sure is a depressing one for all artistic professions — current active cartoonists seem to be mostly doomed to juggling thankless jobs for corporate giants such as Disney-slash-Marvel while defending their right to be (and to own their work) from AI pilfering (although ‘pilfering’ is too cute a word for it). Even such pundits as RL can rarely afford to work on what’s actually dear to their hearts. In that context, the sweet (and thoughtful) story of Abigail and her snowman friend was a very welcome addition to Langridge’s career, lodged as it was between two extremely underwhelming Dynamite-published affairs where he acted as the writer, namely King: Mandrake the Magician (2015) and Betty Boop (2017). I’m now convinced that Langridge’s art can save a poor script (thanks to jokes and beautifully non-sequitur asides inserted into the art), whereas a flat artist can ruin a plot faster than you can shout ‘Gisele Lagacé‘.

Langridge has been drawing daily cartoons based on his life for around 5 years now. This is the strip’s final week, as he has decided that it’s time to move on to something else, so I wanted to mention it before it’s too late — especially since it’s perfectly relevant to the season.

Strip from December 21, 2023

And a merry Christmas to all! We’ll see you again before the New Year.

~ ds

Everybody Knows Leadfoot Larry!

« In World War One, they called it shell shock. Second time around, they called it battle fatigue. After ‘nam, it was post-traumatic stress disorder. » — Jan Karon

Jerry Grandenetti‘s whirlwind passage through the halls of Charlton (circa early 1966) was barely noticed, let alone commented upon. Ah, but it nonetheless was interesting. Grandenetti, frustrated with his limited prospects in illustrating war scripts for Bob Kanigher at DC, was in the middle of trying to expand his client base and break away from the obvious constraints of dealing with a petty tyrant. He was also eager to let his style evolve naturally, which certainly wasn’t going to happen in the pages of Star-Spangled War Stories.

And so, in 1966, Grandenetti, while keeping active at DC, passed through Tower (Fight the Enemy), Gold Key (The Twilight Zone), Marvel (Tales to Astonish: both The Hulk and Namor), Warren (Creepy and Eerie), though much of that work was ghosted for Joe Orlando and only revealed to be Jerry’s own… well after the fact.

For my money — and it won’t surprise anyone — the most unhampered and noteworthy art he created over that year was at Charlton. Here’s a sample!

« Leadfoot Larry » was written by Joe Gill and inked by Jon D’Agostino.

While I prefer Grandenetti’s own inks (unless Wally Wood or Murphy Anderson are on the table!) over his pencils, future Archie stalwart Jon D’Agostino (1929-2010) performs a slick job that doesn’t smother Jerry’s pencils. A pair of romance stories saw him unfortunately saddled with indifferent Vince Alascia, but a teaming with Rocco Mastroserio proved attractive. The crown jewel of the ’60s Grandenetti Charltons was a sixteen-pager purporting to tell « The True Story of Jesse James! », wherein JG got to ink himself.

For me, what sets « Leadfoot Larry » apart is that it’s a character piece, the hot rodding taking a back seat to the — often underlying — themes of PTSD, sound reason pitted against blind rage, trust, maturity and responsibility facing callowness and cowardly chaos… with the sobering conclusion that you just can’t reason with some people. In typical Joe Gill fashion, most of the issues are circumstantial… they don’t explode into melodramatics. It’s not a perfect world, nor should it be, but one I’d rather inhabit, given the choice.

Here’s the issue it’s from, Hot Rod Racers no. 8 (Apr.-May 1966, Charlton). Despite being cobbled together from interior art, the cover manages to be pretty striking. Pat Masulli, editor.

-RG

Welcome to Virgil and Sigmund’s Cocktail Party!

« If Freud had worn a kilt in the prescribed Highland manner he might have had a very different attitude to genitals. » — Woodrow Wilson

Let’s talk about your drinking.

Aw, just kidding: that’s your business and none of mine. There’s certainly no shortage of reasons — or might these be excuses? — for it nowadays. Speaking of which, here’s the recipe for the Freudian Slip Cocktail, which is presumably what ol’ Sigmund is shown energetically mixing up below. Cul sec, friends!

Virgil Partch‘s « Sigmund Freud’s Cocktail Party » originally appeared in Playboy Magazine’s August, 1962 issue.

Let’s keep it straight. Check out Exhibitionism: Misconceptions and Tips to Practice Safely.
More on the subject with Introvert vs Extrovert: A Look at the Spectrum & Psychology.
Let’s skip the envy… the theory of wish fulfillment gives us more to chew on, so to speak..
What are compulsions? As if you didn’t know…
Here’s What You Should Know About the Oedipus Complex (the fancier, more scientific appellation).
I love that chair! Why don’t you take a seat and peruse A Brief Introduction to Dissociation?
The Herd instinct or How cultivated individuals can become barbarians in a crowd… tell me about it! (is that Bea Arthur in the light green dress?)
Meet The Invisible Wall of Psychological Resistance and wail.
Yes, good old self-sabotage. Try, if you’ll allow yourself,Taming the Inner Storm: Strategies for Managing Internal Conflict.
« Hallucination, the experience of perceiving objects or events that do not have an external source… »
A common affliction in superheroes, one would expect. Here’s a piece about Sigmund’s take on the concept.
Ask yourself this: Are you subconsciously seeking out rejection?
A sizzling double header of Why You May Act Immature During Anxiety-Provoking Situations and The Instinct Theory of Agression. Watch the fur fly!
And finally, Freud’s hysteria and its legacy. Good night everyone, and where’s that designated driver at?

-RG

It Must Be True — It Was in All the Papers

« Save time and cut fingers with a parsley mincer. »

It seems that oodles of my posts start with ‘I found this book randomly in a second-hand bookstore…’, when ‘retrieved from the bottom of a dusty chest in a forgotten attic’ would make for a much more enthralling story. Alas, I am bound to truth… as is Can It Be True? (originally published in 1953 by MacDonald and Co; I have the 3rd edition from 1954), which was priced one measly buck despite its generally excellent condition and venerable age.

It consists of a collection of misprinted and typo’d quotes drawn from newspaper clippings, magazine articles and other paraphernalia, expertly gathered and compiled into a thin volume by Denys Parsons. This by itself makes for an amusing read, but the cherry on the cake is the occasional illustrations by blog favourite Anton (see Anton’s Spivs and Scoundrels, Baronesses and Beezers, if you’re not sure whom this nom de plume conceals).

As seen from a panel inside the book, the man is holding a poster that reads’ SHRDLUS AT IT AGIAN – Evning Srta’
« ... Spread around her was a sun-flooded valley where buttercups nodded lazily in the summer breeze and tranquil cows chewed solemnly at her elbow. » – Western Family Magazine
« Para. 27B. Men employed on quasi-clerical nature should not be provided with any clothing. » – Post Office Magazine
« The best plan is to hold the bottle firmly and remove the cook as gently as possible. » – Woman’s Paper
« The flames starting on the third floor of the midwest Salvage Co. spread so rapidly that the first firemen on the scene were driven back to safety and leaped across three streets to ignite other buildings. » – Cincinnati Times Star
« The word lawyer, he argued, was a general term, and was not confined to solicitors, but anybody who practised any breach of law. » – Cambridge Paper
« Mr. and Mrs. Benny Croset announce the birth of a little son which arrived on the 5.15 last Thursday. » – West Union (Oregon) People’s Defender

Denys Parsons, ‘the undisputed king of the misprint’, has a few more books I’m interested in, including another volume of It Must Be True (this one illustrated by Ronald Searle), as well as Many a True Word (another Anton volume!) and All Too True (with drawings by Peter Kneebone). Perhaps another time, another p̶l̶a̶c̶e̶ used bookstore…

~ ds

Hallowe’en Countdown VIII, Day 31

« A dead body revenges not injuries. » — William Blake

« Do you end every Hallowe’en Countdown with Steve Ditko? », ds reasonably asked me last month. Well, no, I replied, but it generally plays out that way since, by my reckoning, nothing embodies the spirit of this finest of holidays quite like a sepulchral Joe Gill – Steve Ditko yarn.

My heartfelt thanks to all our guests — visitors, readers and contributors — who made this breakneck endeavour possible… in particular ds, who shouldered a significant part of the load and came through with flying, but appropriately sombre, colours.

Take it away, Messrs Gill, Ditko and Dedd!

Yes, it’s your basic ‘greedy relative’ plot, but perfectly executed. And the late Mr. Strick would surely concur about the ‘perfectly executed’ part.
And since the cover gives away a bit too much, here it is, after the story. This is Ghostly Tales no. 103 (Apr. 1973, Charlton). Cover by Steve Ditko, naturally.

And we have one more countdown concluded against soul-searing odds. Now, if you’re craving more, you insatiable ghouls, feel free — could we stop you even if we tried? — to slobber amidst our back pages, at this point numbering two hundred and forty-eight posts :

Hallowe’en Countdown VIII

Hallowe’en Countdown VII

Hallowe’en Countdown VI

Hallowe’en Countdown V

Hallowe’en Countdown IV

Hallowe’en Countdown III

Hallowe’en Countdown II

Hallowe’en Countdown I

Wishing you all a spine-rattling Hallowe’en — all your verminous loitering was deeply appreciated!

-RG

Hallowe’en Countdown VIII, Day 30

« New mysteries. New day. Fresh doughnuts. »David Lynch

Welcome to the bewitching burg of Blinsh, Pinksylvania, where vampires peacefully coexist with ‘normal-type Blinshites’, though the latter do exhibit a touch of grumpiness when suddenly bitten by their fanged neighbours. Put on your cape (surely you own a cape?) and follow us to this land of boiled turnip and sauerkraut doughnuts… but I would recommend not going on an empty stomach.

The pages of Vampires of Blinsh (Sept. 2020, Abrams Books for Young Readers) are positively overflowing with jolly vampires, promenading chickens, sneaky racoons, people tripping over bikes, floating basketball players, children munching doughnuts, janitors in eyepatches, and so on. In short, a typical Daniel Pinkwater creation, and I say this with the utmost delight.

This book was illustrated by Aaron Renier, whom I already knew from his young readers series The Unsinkable Walker Bean. The latter definitely has its heart in the right place, but failed to fully capture my interest, though I can confirm the art was great, so I was happy to see Renier’s drawing talent matched up with a story I could really sink my fangs* into. Not that Vampires of Blinsh has a story, per se – which seems to have baffled a few readers, some of whom, judging by their reviews, found it confusing and indecipherable. VoB is more of a quick dip into the non sequitur, somewhat absurd, always charming world of Pinksylvania, as readers are taken on a quick tour of Blinsh, its twin sister city Blorsh, as well as the capital of Pinksylvania, Farshningle. Many potential storylines are hinted at, but none are lingered upon, as Pinkwater effortlessly flings ideas (of which he clearly has an abundance) around and pirouettes on to the next vignette.

Hallowe’en in Blinsh!
« But there is no place like home, which is to say there is no place like Blinsh. »

It actually turns out that this book was in no way the result of a straightforward collaboration between artist and writer. Co-admin RG got the story from the horse’s mouth (the horse, naturally, being DP), and here I quote Pinkwater’s anecdote**:

« The book had a completely different text. It was one of those cumulative counting stories. […] The book was written before Covid, the illustrator did his thing, with no input from me at all. And when it was ready for publication, the editor, the illustrator and I all realized it would seem we were making sport of something that looked like going to be a worldwide catastrophe…making sport or trying to capitalize on an event that would cause millions of deaths. People would break our windows. So we decided to kill the book. For all I know the bound copies, (which may have already been on the boat), were dumped into the sea. I own two sets of proofs. I asked my colleagues if I could try to come up with a new text, not a single drawing to be changed. They let me do it. It was printed with my new words, and that’s the book you have. The three of us promised each other we would never tell the story I’ve just told you– (I am not to be trusted). Now I wish we had let the original version be published. We could have sent a copy to Donald Trump. If someone read it to him, he might have understood the nature of a pandemic, and lives could have been saved. »

Were Blinsh and Blorsh even part of the original tale? Who knows. Let’s chalk it all up to serendipity and wander off to procure Kat Hats (Sept. 2022, Abrams Books for Young Readers), another Renier-Pinkwater collaboration .

~ ds

* I used to have pointy canines, until my orthodontist decided to file them down without asking for my opinion first – and this is by no means a unique experience, as is evidenced from any discussion on social media about the delights of orthodontistry. Some of those ‘professionals’ are true ghouls.

** Pinkwater’s Anecdote is less known than, say, Occam’s Razor, Chekhov’s Gun or Russell’s Teapot, but maybe we can squeeze it into the pantheon of eponymous principles anyway, something like ‘entertaining stories can be found wherever Pinkwater goes‘.