Denys Parsons

It Must Be True — It Was in All the Papers

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« Save time and cut fingers with a parsley mincer. »

It seems that oodles of my posts start with ‘I found this book randomly in a second-hand bookstore…’, when ‘retrieved from the bottom of a dusty chest in a forgotten attic’ would make for a much more enthralling story. Alas, I am bound to truth… as is Can It Be True? (originally published in 1953 by MacDonald and Co; I have the 3rd edition from 1954), which was priced one measly buck despite its generally excellent condition and venerable age.

It consists of a collection of misprinted and typo’d quotes drawn from newspaper clippings, magazine articles and other paraphernalia, expertly gathered and compiled into a thin volume by Denys Parsons. This by itself makes for an amusing read, but the cherry on the cake is the occasional illustrations by blog favourite Anton (see Anton’s Spivs and Scoundrels, Baronesses and Beezers, if you’re not sure whom this nom de plume conceals).

As seen from a panel inside the book, the man is holding a poster that reads’ SHRDLUS AT IT AGIAN – Evning Srta’
« ... Spread around her was a sun-flooded valley where buttercups nodded lazily in the summer breeze and tranquil cows chewed solemnly at her elbow. » – Western Family Magazine
« Para. 27B. Men employed on quasi-clerical nature should not be provided with any clothing. » – Post Office Magazine
« The best plan is to hold the bottle firmly and remove the cook as gently as possible. » – Woman’s Paper
« The flames starting on the third floor of the midwest Salvage Co. spread so rapidly that the first firemen on the scene were driven back to safety and leaped across three streets to ignite other buildings. » – Cincinnati Times Star
« The word lawyer, he argued, was a general term, and was not confined to solicitors, but anybody who practised any breach of law. » – Cambridge Paper
« Mr. and Mrs. Benny Croset announce the birth of a little son which arrived on the 5.15 last Thursday. » – West Union (Oregon) People’s Defender

Denys Parsons, ‘the undisputed king of the misprint’, has a few more books I’m interested in, including another volume of It Must Be True (this one illustrated by Ronald Searle), as well as Many a True Word (another Anton volume!) and All Too True (with drawings by Peter Kneebone). Perhaps another time, another p̶l̶a̶c̶e̶ used bookstore…

~ ds